Don't Be Apathetic About Being Empathetic.
Editors note: Hi! I have not posted a blog in a long time, and have collected a long list of drafts that are all half-finished. I have begun to feel overly critical of my writing and theological knowledge and I have decided to accept that I am not perfect and start publishing my drafts. Thanks for having grace with me when I do make mistakes and when it takes me a whole month to post a blog.
If you would've asked me a year ago what was my least favorite thing about myself I would've told you: I feel too much. A few months ago I was trying to sleep, but I cared SO MUCH about the issue running in my head that I couldn't rest. I was praying and I said 'God, you know my heart and you know how I love, but I simply do not want to care about this anymore." I kinda sat in silence and ruminated over the weight of my words and thought... do I really not want to care? What if God took away the gift I have to feel things big and I began to not care? I do not think I would be Megan anymore.
The ability to feel empathy is a gift. I know that God has given people the capacity for big emotions because there is a purpose for it in service to Him. We are called to be empathetic and caring towards others, it says in Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep," and in 1 Corinthians 12:26 "If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together". The definition of the word empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is that not what Bible is saying in those two verses? I believe it is.
Beyond the instructions to empathize that Paul wrote in those letters, we also know that God is empathetic! It says in Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin." (In other versions the phrase 'empathize with' is substituted with the word 'understand') And according to verse 2:6 in 1 John, We who claim to abide in Christ must walk in the same way He walked. Therefore, if we claim to follow God we must empathize as He does.
Empathy is not a religious term, and secular empathy is usually what comes to mind within this topic. However, I want to talk about biblical empathy, because only things rooted in God and the Holy Spirit have access to true love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
As I've thought about it I have realized that biblical empathy requires a few things...
Seeing people like Jesus sees them
Desire & intentionality
The organization of those two requirements is not a mistake. Seeing people through Jesus' eyes will ignite the desire for intentional biblical empathy with others. So first, we must learn how Jesus sees us through the light of biblical empathy. We already read Hebrews 4:15 that shows us that God is a God who understands our affliction because He too was mistreated, tempted, and sinned against. What else does the Bible have to say? Let's look at the story of Lazarus. Jesus' friend Lazarus had died and He went to visit Mary, Martha, and the Tomb. This is what happened:
"When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.' When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept." (John 11:32-35)
Jesus knew that Lazarus would live again, He even said so to Martha in v. 11:23. It was not the death of Lazarus that moved Jesus' spirit and caused him to weep, it was the sorrow from His friends and those around them. Jesus knew in moments the joy of Lazarus coming back from the dead would fall upon them, but that didn't stop Him from meeting them at that moment and mourning alongside them. He didn't see their emotion as foolish, unseemly, or annoying, he cared for them so he cared about how they felt!
We see Jesus caring for others over and over again. In Matthew 9:35-36, it says "Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." Jesus saw the crowds, but his 'seeing' did not stop there. He sought to understand them beyond just a glance. He sought to understand how they felt, and how they were treated. I would argue that he even ventured to think about what they needed: a shepherd.
If these passages and verses aren't enough to get you to believe that empathizing with others is a Biblical principle, here is a final verse that cinches it for me:
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
In the hurt, healing, happiness, and heartbreak, we are called to bear with one another. To encourage, to love, to have compassion, and to be present. We are meant to reflect Jesus, and that includes His empathy.
My favorite verses right now, which I have been attempting to memorize, are Colossians 3:12-13 which say...
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
While these verses don't have the word 'empathy' in them I believe they are calling us to display characteristics that are required for empathy in vs. 12...
Compassionate hearts: To be able to look at people the way Jesus did with true care and concern for the feelings, sufferings, and hardships of others.
Kindness: To be generous, considerate, and friendly to those around you.
Humility: To lower the importance of yourself so that you may serve others' needs when you have the opportunity.
Meekness & Patience: To be still, quiet, and at peace with your current circumstances.
And in vs 13 we see again the phrase "bearing with one another". 'Bearing with' is a phrase exemplified by the Greek word anechō in the original text meaning to sustain or endure. Most importantly the word anechō is a verb, meaning that bearing with one another is an action. Empathizing with someone is an action. Jesus didn't sit in heaven and think about empathizing with us or think about how much he cared for us. No, Jesus came down and became friends with Lazarus, and wept with his family over his momentary death. Jesus went into the towns and villages to heal, love, and save the people. We are called to do the same as He did, to act in biblical empathy.
To round off Colossians 3:12-13, we have an insight into forgiveness which may seem like a sidebar to the lesson of empathy, but I would argue forgiveness is a result of biblical empathy. To see others for more than what they did, and for who they are as a whole being plagued with sin, struggles, and hardships of their own helps us to forgive them. We see this displayed in the greatest act of forgiveness, love, and compassion we will ever know; the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
In being in a relationship with Jesus, we are living in the result of pure, amazing, awe-inspiring, biblical empathy. Jesus saw us, knew us, understood us, and with a compassionate heart and great kindness, he humbled himself, being meek and patient, forgiving us, in order to be in a relationship with us. I can't help but just think: wow, "There is no greater love than this; to lay down one's life for one's friends (John 15:13)".
As Jesus personified these verses so we must personify Jesus. We will never get it perfect, but despite that fact, we must keep striving in the name of the LORD.
Disclaimer: Now of course, with all things, we are called to use discretion and wisdom when employing Biblical empathy. We must use the character of God and Jesus as our example and guide. To bring our sin and humanness into empathy will taint it, and because our humanness is inevitable we must be diligent to seek Jesus prayerfully. I cannot stress this enough, Biblical empathy is displayed by God and must be enacted through Him. He is the original empathizer, the creator of empathy, and the perfect example. To try and love others with intentionality and care is impossible without Him. So as always, SEEK GOD FIRST!
One song that fills me with the knowledge of God's great care and compassion for me is "No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus" by Steffany Gretzinger. When I listen to this song I usually start crying, and I will link it down below for you.
Phil. 1:3-6
Meg
