The Video Game Gospel
When I was 10 I went to Echo Ranch for a week of bible camp, and that week they were giving out little medals to the best helper in the cabin. I remember clearing dishes, cleaning, and doing whatever I could because I REALLY wanted that medal. Thankfully my work paid off, and I did win it. It is important to note however that I wasn't cleaning out of my pure desire to be helpful, but out of my selfish desire to be recognized and rewarded. This is an illustration of how we can interact with God.
We can all admit, I hope, that we at one time or another have thought 'If I were closer to God, he would bless me with this,' or 'If I was more diligent in praying and reading my Bible, God would love me enough to answer this prayer,' or some other variation. WHILE IT IS TRUE that being in a deeper relationship with the Lord will bring you many blessings, simply because of the way it will mold you as a person, pursuing God for any other reason than just to pursue Him is selfish ambition and vain conceit.
Ouch.
How can pursuing God be a bad thing, you ask. IT ISN'T, it is our mindset and heart posture that is in the wrong. It is wrong because we are doing it for ourselves, for what WE want. Doing something to gain another is not love.
Pursuing God isn't like trying to earn a promotion, or XP to 'level up'. I don't know where this idea that God is withholding 'special rewards' from us until we reach a certain level of intimacy with Him came from. He is not a greedy man in the sky clutching his blessings and sending them down on the worthy and pious few that spend the most time in the word, prayer, or worship.
In Romans 9:15-16 it says:
"15 For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."
16 It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy."
Paul writes here a simple but very important truth. God's blessings are NOT doled out based on our desire or effort but by his amazing MERCY and COMPASSION. When we allow ourselves to believe our effort is what earns us God's favor, then out of selfishness we either react through pride or shame.
Reacting through pride looks a lot like we are offended by God. 'How dare He not bless me after all the work I have put into this relationship? Why hasn't He given me that thing I wanted, I have come so far in my relationship with Him! I read the whole Bible, doesn't that earn me SOMETHING?'. The simple answer is, no, no it doesn't. Pursuing God isn't a game, we don't earn something by completing tasks. We didn't earn, let alone DESERVE salvation, not to mention the many blessing he throws in. We can eat, sleep, listen to music, and live in a beautiful world. We don't deserve any of that, and we certainly didn't do anything to earn it. WE must let go of the thought that God must owe us something in return for pursuing Him, HE IS THE REWARD.
Reacting through shame takes the blame off God and puts it on yourself. 'I am such a bad follower, I thought I did everything I could. How could I have not made it to this blessing yet? Is God disappointed in me? What else can I do to make Him pleased with me? Am I not getting this blessing because I am unworthy?'. The answer, again, is no. God is not a boss with a checklist making sure you put in your 15 minutes of devotionals in the morning so you can earn lunch. We are not 'on the clock' with God, putting in more hours doesn't earn you more pay. God wants to BE with you, whenever you are. To be rooted in shame and worrying about your worth as a follower is selfishness friend. It is not about how good you are, it is about how good God is.
Both pride and shame are tools used by the enemy to take us away from the truth of our identity. We are LOVED, we are made WORTHY, and, most importantly, we are BLESSED beyond measure by and through God.
It may seem like I am saying 'hey kids, ditch the bible reading and praying, it doesn't matter anyway!' which is very, very, VERY much not my meaning. Rather, you must think about your pursuit of God DIFFERENTLY, not stop the pursuit altogether. Pursuing God blesses us just in the pursuit, truly. It molds us and brings us peace, joy, patience, and so much more. Most importantly, It brings us closer to our father. We must not follow God to get something from God, but rather to get GOD Himself. If He never blessed us with anything other than a relationship with Him, we would have more than we deserve already.
As I wrote this I thought of the line 'Christ is my reward and all of my devotion. Now there's nothing in this world that could ever satisfy.' from the Song Christ is Enough by Hillsong. I'll link it below, give it a listen.
Phil. 1:3-6,
Meg
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